Crazy Tales and Other Stories

Learn how to escape from Amazon Warriors or to save the world from evil geniuses and mad scientists. Destroy ravenous termites and rescue cheerleaders from a raging river.

Join David Watkins as he does this and more in Crazy Tales and Other Stories. Learn why men and women behave so differently. Understand how to resolve the energy crisis. Learn how company executives are going to cut costs.

In these pages you will not only find a memorable collection of tall tales and humorous speeches but you will also receive hints on how to craft your own tall tales and speeches so you too can become a successful speaker or writer.

Available online from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and OutskirtsPress

     She paused for a moment, eying me in that same strange and hungry-like manner.  It was becoming a little unsettling.
     “We cannot let you leave.  If you were to tell the world of our existence evil men would come to destroy our way of life.”
     “However,” she added, “We will not kill you.  You are obviously a very strong, handsome, and virile male.  You could reintroduce strength back into our tribe – something that is sorely missing from our current males.”
     Reintroduce strength?  At first I thought she was talking about setting up an aerobics class.  Then her meaning became clear. 

     The wind was so strong and carried so much dust and grit that people didn’t bother to paint their houses. The wind would just sandblast the paint right off the buildings.
     I remember we went to visit some family friends. We had never visited their house before and my Mom remarked how nice their stucco exterior looked. They laughed and said it wasn’t stucco. It used to be brick. The wind had sandblasted the brick until it was as smooth as stucco.
     Sometimes the wind and dust were an advantage – we never had to clean the windows on our house or car. They were sandblasted clean. The disadvantage was every two or so years we had to replace them – they would get so thin that the wind would blow right through the glass.
 

The Tall Tales
   The Amazon Adventure [District 25 Tall Tale Contest winner - 1996]
   The Great Panhandle Flood [District 25 Tall Tale Contest winner - 1997]
   The Amazons and the Mad Scientist
   Alien Abduction
   The Skyhook and the Cheerleaders
   Secret Agent Man
   David and the Termites
   The Giant Crawdads
   How to Create Your Own Tall Tale
The Humorous Speeches
   The Wooly Mammoth Theory [District 25 Humorous Speech finalist]
   Why Men Grill
   Why Men’s Brains Fall Asleep
   Dust Bowl Days Revisited
   Cost Savings for the Next Generation
   Hotter than … What?
   The Handy Man [District 25 Humorous Speech finalist]
   Teenager Remote 2.0
   The Spouse Remote
   My Energy Policy
   Hand me my Bifocals Honey, I need to Text Someone [District 25 Humorous Speech Contest winner - 2009]
   Softwarelium
How to Create a Speech
The Importance of Speech Delivery